Fan or Frustrated Cheerleader?

We've all seen them. Maybe while attending a sporting event; maybe while watching one on TV. They may be a frustrated cheerleader or a self-appointed "leader". Maybe their mommy didn't give them enough attention or pulled the nipple too soon. Don't know why, but we definitely know who. They stand up, turn to face those fans seated behind them and wave their arms in an upward, imploring motion. You know the motion. It's the one you make when you're in deep water and you're trying to stay submerged. Or the one the preacher makes when he wants his faithful sheep to stand up and allow freer access to their wallets.
In their use of the motion, they want you to get off your ass and stand up and cheer! But, hey dumbass! You don't have enough sense to know that this is an appropriate time to stand up and cheer. Wuzzupwifdat? Is you got dain bramage or what?
It is typically the male of the species who heaps embarrassment upon himself by performing this motion. His female companion is usually nearby. Trying to stay as inconspicuous as possible. Head buried in her hands. Her lifeforce slowly oozing from every delicate pore in her body, she is soon to be the figurative equivalent of "boneyard dead" from her embarrassment. I digress.
This male fancies himself a leader of men. Others fancy him as a real goobernaut. In reality, this is the guy who never made the starting line-up. He never made the scout team. He went out and bought a team uniform and started sneaking into practice. He only got on the team because both tackling dummies were stolen. He never actually "made" the team. After several subpar seasons, the number of varsity players was the same as the number of states during the War of 1812. Then, one day, he gets to take up some space during "subfest". You know subfest. That period at the end of the game when the team was either so far ahead or behind that the outcome was no longer in doubt. In this example, it's the latter. Coach Buster Butts has seen enough for one day, so he clears the bench. Here comes our fearless leader. His team is behind by "four score and seven". Dive play up the middle even though they have 13 in the box. (The opposition coach just wants to end this barbarism before two of his guys accidentally butt heads and hurt each other.) Our "man" is the sixth guy in on the tackle of the opposing fullback. This is the fullback's first carry of his career...and he's a fifth-year senior. He just gained 23 yards. Now it's our fearless leader's time to shine!! He jumps up and struts around like Mick Jagger pantomiming Joe Cocker with a gerbil up his ass. Then...you guessed it...this is when it first happened...spur of the moment...he turns toward the home stands and does his imploration incantation. Fourteen people stand up at his behest. Twelve of them are his relatives. The other two are just standing up to see what happened. But, our hero is ruined for life.
But, hell, someone has to lead the rest of us because we're too "stoopid" to even recognize something as basic as an emotion. Oh! Something exciting happened? Something favoring "our" team? I'm supposed to stand up from my seat and express my approval? Well, why didn't someone tell me to get up and cheer? OH! I see. That's your job! Well, I feel much better now. That's a load of pressure off me! You are truly a man among men, my fearless leader.
This guy is reminiscent of a scene in Animal House. Dean Wormer has just delivered the word that the boys have been on "double secret probation". Their grades are worse than mine were first semester, freshman year. Bluto jumps up and heads for the door, imploring all to follow. Remember how many actually followed his initial move? And there is one major difference. Bluto was more of a leader than you.