Who to believe - The James Gang or a Leach?

Mike Leach vs. Craig & Adam James. Texas Tech. Concussion. What is fact in this fiasco? As far as I can see, there is only one verifiable fact. Mike Leach was fired as the football coach at Texas Tech. Other than that; squadouche. The Family James says many things. Leach and members of his staff counter. There is probably some truth and some lies on both sides. I won't pass judgement...for several reasons. Most people don't care what I think. My judgement won't have any effect on the situation. Most important, I don't care who is telling the truth. It has no effect on my life or my family, so it does not matter to me. The resolution of the situation is not my reason for blogging this morning. I just don't care.
Why I am sitting down is because I have seen parents like the elder James and children like the younger James. I have dealt with them as a youth coach, volunteer high school coach, sports official and fellow parent. I have shook my head in wonder at the arrogance of some parents. I have marvelled at their stupidity. I have wondered if they could be so blind to the damage they were doing to their children.
I do not claim to have been a perfect father. I'm sure my sons could regale you with tales of my ineptness. I know they have cussed me under their breath. I accept this. It's part of being a father. My sons are all good athletes. They played, and I coached, youth baseball, soccer and basketball. They played on school sports teams and were very good at what they did. What I NEVER did was to lobby a coach for playing time for them. If they wanted more playing time, they had to follow my instructions. I explained that you earn playing time during practice much more than during the actual game. If you don't like your position in the pecking order, work harder. That will enable you to reach your maximum potential. This potential may not be a career in professional sports, but it will be YOUR level of ability.
I, like my sons, realized in my teens that I was not going to be a professional athlete, or even play D1 sports. Sports were enjoyment. Testing personal limits. The fact that we may not have been the best on the team did not matter because we gave it our all. I won't speak for them, but I think they enjoyed the sports experience. They still play various sports and derive the enjoyment from the experience. All are professionals in their fields of expertise. Sports provides a necessary distraction.
I remember one particular exchange with the mother of a Little James who was a member of the baseball team I coached. She constantly yelled at her son from the bleachers. At times, she countermanded what I and the other coaches had told the child. After what was probably a bad day at work, I had reached my breaking point. While the practice continued, I calmly (if you knew my temper during that period of my life, you would have applauded my restraint) walked over to the first base bleachers and told her that she needed to stop yelling at her son. That, once he crossed the chain link fence, we (the coaches) were in charge. I said all this in a voice that could not be heard by the ballplayers. They were on the third base side of the field with the other coaches. Some other parents in the bleachers could hear, but I didn't give a rat's ass. She told me that she was only helping him and that she would continue. I made her an offer. Become a coach. I told her that I would give her my coaches T-shirt and let her cross the fence and coach her heart out. She told me that she probably could do a better job. Again, I made the offer. I then hit her with the knockout punch. I told her that, as a coach, I was responsible for more than a dozen children, including her little one. I would love to trade places with her so that I could concentrate solely on MY son and not have to be worried with the other children and their parents. It was something I had never experienced at the youth level since I always coached my sons' teams. She huffed, climbed down from the bleachers and walked across to the park. I wish I could say that she toned down, but she did not. But several parents thanked me for calling her out. And her son? The kid was a wreck. Nervous. Jittery. Shy. Withdrawn. A really good kid who happened to have a she wolf for a mother.
One rule I always followed: never say anything disrespectful (and doesn't that sound better than "don't be disrespecting"?) about an adult in the presence of my sons. Children are impressionable. When you degrade an adult in their presence, you undermine all adults. And you give your child a false sense of superiority and power. Children don't need that much power because they don't know what to do with it. I believe that you should support your child, but you must recognize that they are not perfect. They will transgress. When they do, they must pay the price. As a parent, you can be supportive, but you can't be blind.
If mommy and daddy verbalize that Mr. Smith is a stupid teacher or coach, then Little James has carte blanche to neither listen to nor respect Mr. Smith. In fact, Mr. Smith may indeed BE a stupid teacher or coach, but the is not Little James' business. This discussion should take place between mommy and daddy and Little James should not be within earshot. It's a small step from Mr. Smith being stupid to ANY adult with whom Little James has a problem being stupid. And if mommy and daddy always coddle Little James and make excuses for him, he's going to grow up believing he is without fault. There will be no cause and effect in his life. His sense of superiority will mean that he does not have to exert himself to, in his mind, get the starting position or more playing time or make the all-star team. He will never be a team player. He will always forsake the success of the team in favor of his personal aggrandizement. And, when he fails, which all of us do from time to time, mommy and daddy have implanted a numbing and dangerous rationalization in his psyche. "It's not your fault."